JOHN LENNON REMEMBERED

If you were alive and old enough in December of 1980, you probably remember where you were when you heard the news.

“John Lennon was shot and killed tonight outside his home on the Upper West Side of New York City.” 

At least it was a madman who did it, killed John Lennon, of all people.

When I was eleven, a few years after my father’s death, I’m a Loser, the Beatles hit written by John Lennon, became one of my most cherished songs.

Alone in our apartment, I would sing along at the top of my lungs as tears trickled down my cheek, “I’m a loser. And I lost someone who’s near to me…”

           

John Lennon was born October 9^th, 1940 while a World War II bombing raid was in progress.

His mother couldn’t handle raising him. He was raised by his aunt Mimi.

He was expelled from school for misbehaving when he was five years old.

I’m a Loser, Nowhere Man, and Help are biographical songs based on John Lennon’s personal  experience.

He saw his father for the first time in 17 years in 1964.

“All art is pain expressing itself,” he once said.

He kept a light on while he slept because he didn’t like the dark.

Without glasses he was legally blind.

            Supposedly he was dyslexic.

“Part of me suspects that I am a loser, and the other part thinks I am God Almighty.”

He may have been a petty thief, enjoying a bit of shoplifting now and again, when he was a teenager.

             He ate very little after a reporter labeled him the ‘fat Beatle’.

He didn’t like his voice and often asked his producers to change how he sounded on recordings.

“My defenses were so great. The cocky rock and roll hero who knows all the answers was actually a terrified guy who didn't know how to cry. Simple.”

In 1970 John and Yoko checked into a hospital for wealthy addicts.

“Temperatures rising, fever is high, can’t see no future…can’t see no sky,” is a lyric from his song Cold Turkey.

             John Lennon signed his autograph for Mark Chapman six hours before Chapman shot and killed him on December 8^th, 1980 at around 10:50 p.m.

“If someone thinks that love and peace is a cliché that must have been left behind in the Sixties, that's his problem. Love and peace are eternal.”

John Lennon wrote Imagine, which is now the official song of the human rights organization Amnesty International.

Along with Paul McCartney, John Lennon is considered one of the most influential songwriters of the 20^th century.

             “I believe in God, but not as one thing, not as an old man in the sky. I believe that what people call God is something in all of us. I believe that what Jesus and Mohammed and Buddha and all the rest said was right. It's just that the translations have gone wrong.”

           The Beatles have sold an estimated 1,000,000,000 plus records worldwide. Sales continue to go strong. 

           “And we all shine on, like the moon, the stars, and the sun…”

           Remember John. Do what you have to do, though it’s not always easy. And shine on.

           Namaste.
           I can be reached for coaching at drjohnfluca@gmail.com or 805/680-5572. 

SMILE AND YOUR AMYGDALA LOVES YOU

You look at your thoughts, and you see dark clouds. What do you do? You look for the silver lining.    

That’s old wisdom. Life gives you lemons you start thinking lemonade.

Now researchers, Swiss, no less, have confirmed that this is the way to go.  They studied what is technically called ‘cognitive reappraisal’, where a subject is asked to consider a situation and view it in a positive light. In this study, subjects were told they were going to see some images, some disturbing, some not. They were asked to reassure themselves that they were perfectly safe no matter what they saw in the images.

In the second part of the experiment, different subjects were told the same images were coming but were not instructed to reassure themselves in any way.

In both cases, the subjects’ brains were observed with an MRI scanner while they were shown the photographs.

The people in the first group were able to calm their amygdala.  Their emotional brain was less active, and their prefrontal cortex, or decision-making brain, was more active.

They had effectively modulated their emotional responses to the disturbing photographs.  Meditation or mindfulness was shown to have the same effect. It increased the subjects’ ability to regulate their emotional state.

So, remember that the next time you’re being whacked around emotionally. Take a full breath or two. Become aware of your body. Notice your thoughts. Go positive. Then remember what I shared in an earlier article about questions being a more powerful way to get your brain and mind to do what you want. Don’t tell it what to do, ask it for what you want.            

“May I be safe from inner and outer harm.”

“May my mind and body be calm and peaceful.”

            “May I be happy just as I am.”          

            “May I have an amazing weekend!”
            

You can share with a friend or post to facebook by clicking one of the icons below. Namaste.

MAY YOUR HEART AND MIND BE OPEN

Today, we offer a brief guided meditation that you can do wherever you are, even while riding the bus or sitting at your desk. 

            Please get comfortable. Relax into your seat. Take a moment to check in with your body and your self. Feel the breath as it enters your body. Feel your chest as it rises and falls. Hear the sounds that are near and the sounds coming from far away. Let yourself slow down and simply be where you are for a moment or two.  Let go of the cares of the day. Let your mind slow down and become quiet. As your thoughts arise let them come and let them go. See if you can stay in the moment, not following your thoughts into the past or into to the future. Stay with your breath, your body, and the moment. Be thankful for all you have right here, right now. Open your heart to all that life has given you, your loves, your losses, your gains, your sorrow, your happiness.

          Give thanks for all of it. Your eyes, your ears, your legs, your heart, and everything else you have been given. Give thanks for all that you’ve been able to give to others as sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, lovers, workers, artists, inventors, as women and men walking this earth. And ask that you be held and guided by your ancestors, your elders, your parents and great grandparents, and all those who came before you. Ask that you be open to guidance from wherever it may come, from deep within yourself and from deep within the sacred mystery of existence. Ask that your heart and mind be open and that you be strong, honest, caring, loving with yourself and others. And fearless, open to the truth within yourself and in others and that you be able during your time on this earth to do good work for your highest good and the highest good of all concerned. Take your time. Breathe it in. Namaste.

JOEY PANTS SHOWS HOW IT'S DONE

He’s known as Joey Pants in the industry, as Ralphie on the Sopranos, as Joey Pantoliano on his driver's license. He's a husband, a dad, a recovering depress-a-holic, and he's got `em big, real big. Joey Pants has made a powerful movie where he shares the intimate details of his struggles with depression and the unhappiness and havoc it brought him and his family.

The term 'mental illness', no matter how you slice it, carries so much unnecessary baggage that you just wish we could come up with new labels, or somehow de-stigmatize the old ones.

Play with me for a minute. Let’s re-brand mental illness as mental diabetes. Watch what happens.

There are different kinds of diabetes, but in general the problem is regulating blood-sugar levels.

Mental diabetes comes in different forms, but in general has to do with problems regulating thoughts and emotions.

Some cases of diabetes can be controlled with medication. Some cases can be controlled by diet. Some can be controlled by a combination of both.

Same goes for mental diabetes. Some cases need medication. Some cases need therapy or coaching, which is a diet of healthy thoughts and behaviors. Some cases need both.

Which would you rather have, mental illness, or mental diabetes?

The challenge is we feel we are mentally ill, rather than we have a mental illness. It’s one thing to say, “My foot is broken.” It’s something radically different to say, “I am broken.”

The opportunity and the stigma of mental illness both stem in part from our astonishing ability to change and heal. The brain can change in ways the pancreas cannot. If we can't change, is it our fault?

We don’t ask this of someone with physical diabetes. 

That’s why it’s so hard and so brave to come forwards and tell your story and do what you need to do to make your life work. It’s not just about the heavy stuff like depression, anxiety and mental illness. It’s about joy, love, awe and gratitude. It’s about being a love machine and a light to those around you. It’s about telling the truth and setting yourself free, and helping those around you to do the same.

Check out Joey Pants and help yourself to a great day.

http://www.pbs.org/wnet/need-to-know/health/an-actors-battle-with-mental-illness/3904/

WHY DO YOU WANT THAT?

Whenever you think about something you want in your life, consider asking yourself, “Why do you want that?”

Think of your want, wish, or goal as a leaf on a tree. You ask questions about what you want until you reach the roots. The roots are where you will find the deeper intention behind what you want.

I recently did this with my mom who is ninety.

“I want to have my kitchen cabinets refinished.”

“Why do you want to do that?”

Of course I explained in advance what we were doing, otherwise she would think I was just giving her a hard time, like I usually do.

 “Because it will make me happy.”

“Why will it make you happy?”

“Because they will be nice and clean and beautiful, and they will look good when my friends come by.”

“Will it make you happy that your friends will think your place is beautiful?”

“Yes, but it’s more about me. It makes me happy and grateful that I have a nice, clean home. I am grateful to God for my beautiful home.”

I was a little blown away at this point. My mom is a ninety-year-old Sicilian woman raised, as you might guess, as a Catholic. She’s always been a believer and a churchgoer, and her faith as she has gotten older has deepened, which often happens as people approach the end of their lives, and she has always liked beautiful things, but I was taken aback at how a beautiful home was such a portal to something deeper for my mom.

My mother’s deep intention behind painting her kitchen cabinets was beauty in her home and connection to the sacred. A beautiful home connects my mom in way that a walk on the beach, for example, might not.

Given that my mom now spends most of her days in her home, that's a deep intention. That’s a good reason to paint some kitchen cabinets.

So, what’s the intention behind what you want?

Ask yourself questions until you get to the roots. This can be tricky to do on your own. We’re often a little afraid to discover our deepest intentions. You may find you no longer want what you thought you wanted. So, you might want to try this with a friend, or a coach.

Next time I'll go into why your happiness and success may depend on connecting to your deepest intentions. 

If you live near Santa Barbara, Dana Drobny teaches an Adult Ed class on intention. She can be reached at lallidana@gmail.com. I can be reached at drjohnluca@gmail.com.