SAYING NO, SAYING YES, AND CHANGING YOUR LIFE

For some, Monday morning is a hard day. For others, it’s Tuesday, or Thursday, or maybe Sunday. Any morning can be especially hard if you’re unemployed or under-employed. It can be especially hard if you’re unemployed and over fifty. I’ve read that many unemployed men over 55 are not expected to ever work again, even though they want to and need to.

What’s up with that?

If you’re expected to live to be 80 or so, and you’re now 55 and unemployed, that’s 25 years of being an unemployed monumental pain to yourself and everyone around you.

Of course, we may find that unemployed men and women just don’t live that long, and that will solve the problem.

Well, my response to that is, “To hell with that.”

            Now, I know that strikes a different tone for a guy like me, at least in writing. Usually, I’m a touchy-feely, let’s talk calmly, understanding-the-other-guy’s-point-of-view, kind of guy. 

            Not today.

Today, my attitude is, “To hell with that.”

            I say this quietly, not stridently. I’m not shouting it out my second floor window like Albert Finney in Network, who screamed, ‘I’m mad as hell, and I won’t take it anymore.”        

A lot of us are getting our butts kicked, one way or another, by the changes in the American and global economy. While one-third of Americans can’t pay their mortgages, corporations have their most profitable quarter ever, and an Andy Warhol painting sells for a record-breaking 71 million dollars.

To those inclined politically, I say continue to fight the good fight to get this country more equitable, and to re-direct some of the cash that relentlessly and dangerously keeps floating to the top of the economic pie where it accumulates in the portfolios and bank accounts of the ever more wealthy top 1% of the population.

But here, I’m not talking only to the political types. I’m talking to the rest of us who have to do our best while the machine whirs away, sometimes grinding us down as we go about our daily business.

            There are many empowering emotions. Just a few days ago we celebrated Thanksgiving, and I, along with a host of others, put out a few words in praise of gratitude.

            But that was yesterday.

Today I feel the need to offer a few words in praise of attitude, the attitude captured by the words, “To hell with that.’

            I can hear some of you now. “Oh, John, please watch your tone, and your language. You’re starting to sound like one of them.”

Them, being those people who get upset and make loud noises that make finding solutions even more difficult.

I’m not offering, “To hell with that,” as an addition to the noise.

            “To hell with that”, is a strong way of saying ‘no’ to what we don’t want, and “yes” to something else.

The ‘yes’ part is crucial.

Mother Teresa embodied the, “To hell with that,” attitude towards the idea that the poor always suffered and there wasn’t anything she or anyone else could do about it.

She said, “To hell with that,” rolled up her sleeves and got to work.

How about Martin Luther King Jr.?

What was his attitude towards, “The Negro in America would never have rights and opportunities equal to those of Whites”?

And what did he do about it?

What about Gandhi?

Can you hear a little of the, “To hell with that,” attitude spoken with love, but with the strength and conviction of shifting tectonic plates?

            We all need a bit of that, “To hell with that,” attitude sometimes.

But attitude can get us only so far. After attitude comes the hard of work of making things better.

            I heard a very insightful person say that to live effectively you need to be able to take your life in your hands like a crisp apple, bite it, break off a piece and chew.

What’s the energy that helps us do that?

That’s what I’m calling the, “To hell with that,” energy.

There’s the energy of inertia, the resistance that says, “No, you won’t work again. No, you will not solve that problem. No, you will not write that book, or get that job, or overcome that illness, or make that contribution. No. No. No.”

            Then there’s, “To hell with that.”

“To hell with that,” is Yes. Yes. Yes.

Or it’s just feckless noise.  

To those who say we are down for the count, we have to say, ”To hell with that.”

“To hell with that depression.”

“To hell with that anger.”

“To hell with that stuff about the glory days of the past.”

 “To hell with that stuff about Democrats, Republicans, Tea Partiers, and Socialists.”

I’ve got work to do. Decisions to make. Things to learn. People to meet.

Life itself is nothing but an epochs-long struggle with inertia and resistance, a counter-force to increasing disorder.

Life is one big, TO HELL WITH THAT, to decay, death, and nothingness.

You need gratitude, but sometimes you need a little attitude.

“You can never find peace and liberation from the suffering created by your own mind.”

            Can you hear the Buddha’s response to that?

            Maybe, if Buddha were from Brooklyn rather than from India, instead of chanting “OM,” we’d be chanting, ever so slowly, but clearly, “To hell with that.” 
            Namaste.
            I can be reached at drjohnfluca@gmail.com. Or 805/680-5572.

I'M HALF ENLIGHTENED

I’m half enlightened. I’m sure of it. So, are some of my friends. Heck, you may be half enlightened too. Maybe if I were fully enlightened I would know all that’s going on with you and with all other sentient beings in all the realms of all the multiverses on all dimensions. But I’m not, so I don’t.

But I know I am half-enlightened. Today I finished my taxes. For any of you familiar with the US Internal Revenue Service, aka, the Tax Man, you know that the Tax Man cometh to taketh away your money on the 15^th of April, but he/she will wait for your measly paper excuse until October 15^th.

My accountant, who is probably cursing me at this very moment, has all he needs to complete my returns and get them in the mail tomorrow. That’s right, I gave him one full day to complete my return--as if that’s the only one he has to do.

            I know, you’re saying, I don’t hear anything enlightening yet, not even a quarter enlightened, never mind half enlightened.

            Stay with me.

2009 was the worst, crappiest, pain-in-the-rump year financially for me thus far in my adult life. My investments are in real estate—all of them. Much of my income comes from real estate—it used to anyway. Now, all that comes are bills, bills, and more bills. It’s been a major bust. My net worth has tanked, tanked, and tanked some more.

Nothing brought this home more clearly than doing my taxes. 

            I’m getting to the enlightened part.

            Also, I lost all my 1099’s with income and commissions, all bank documents with interest paid on real estate loans--all my tax related paperwork--gone. Looked. Looked. And looked again. Nada.

Had to call my brokers. Had to reconstruct from monthly statements. On and on it went, and the further it went the more money I realized I had lost. I started feeling like Enron or Lehman Brothers.

Meanwhile, the clock kept ticking as it got closer and closer to the 15^th of the month. My back kept aching and aching as I pored over seven, I kid you not, different, bank accounts, and more gas, electric, and water bills than most guys my age have hair on their head. I worked on this thing from before seven in the morning till late in the evening for three days straight.

            YES, YOU’RE SAYING, THAT’S ALL FINE AND GOOD, YOU PROCRASTINATING, ABSENT-MINDED SORRY EXCUSE FOR A BOOKKEEPER—BUT I’M HERE FOR ENLIGHTENMENT, even if only a fractional portion. Where is the enlightenment part?

            I had a pretty decent time throughout the whole ordeal.

I was nice to my family and my dog.

I didn’t flip out when I couldn’t find the tax papers.

I didn’t rip myself a new opening for losing all that money.

I told a few good jokes.

I didn’t harangue myself for waiting so long to do my taxes.

I didn’t tell myself that I was a sorry excuse for a human being.

Why, I’ve given myself a harder time for wasting five minutes looking for my misplaced car keys.

I’ve put myself into a weeklong clinical depression because I couldn’t stop beating the crap out of myself for a reason I can no longer remember.

And here I was after three days of fully documenting a significant collapse in my financial well-being—and I’m still not sure it’s not going to get worse--feeling pretty good, enjoying my life, and appreciative of my family and friends, my house, my life, my work, my readers, and my clients.

The American Buddhist teacher, Jack Kornfield, wrote a book, "After the Ecstasy, the Laundry: How the Heart Grows Wise on the Spiritual Path," talking about how the truth of one's spiritual life is evidenced in daily living, in the rare moments, if they come, of ecstasy, but more importantly, in the much more commonplace occurances of the day, such as doing the laundry and preparing meals.

Why, doing the laundry will be a breeze in comparison to doing my taxes. You see, I'm at least half enlightened, maybe even four-sevenths enlightened.

I'm going to get my calculator and figure it out right now. I'll get back to you no later than the 15th of October, next October. In the meantime, make it a good day, even if it is tax day.

Share this with a friend who may STILL be doing their taxes.