Tuesday, October 26, 2010


The Buddha somehow did a lot with his life, so did Jesus, and Gandhi. I’m calling these guys winners, same goes for Mother Teresa.
Winners win, and losers…well, you know what losers do. And who wants to lose?
Play along with me here, and don’t get too philosophical about the whole win/lose thing.
Can you see yourself as a winner? Can you see yourself, as master coach Robert Hargrove asks, living an inspiring impossible future that you can passionately engage in?
Can you begin to live that future right now?
One of our challenges is that often we are semi-guided missiles. We have a target, maybe, but once we hit it, we’re done. And it’s off to the next target.
This is fine, if we’re enjoying the journey. It’s deadly if we’re not.
We have to keep our eye on the separation between who we are and who we want to become. Of course, we’re all about change and growth and learning and all that good stuff, but just like your vision of an impossible future draws you forwards, it can pull you away from the present moment where all the gifts and all the blessings are.
The great dance is to embrace the present moment as fully as possible with all its faults and shortcomings, and yet move ahead trying to learn, and grow, and even do the impossible. Impossible is the way of the universe, by the way. Impossible stuff like flowers and babies are happening in and around you all the time. It’s how you play the game of life that matters. That having been said, here’s an interesting little win/lose game for you to play.

Ask yourself, and answer quickly and generously, “How have I won?”
            Here are some of my answers to serve as an example.

I have won the being a human game (rather than the being a pet rock or an ashtray game).
I have won the love game.
I have won the divorce game.
I have won the parenting game.

I have won the being a son game.
I have won the great place to live game.
I have won the real estate game.

I have won the laughter game.
I have won the spiritual journey game.
I have won the education game.
I have won the health game.

I have won the travel game.
I have won the love of nature game.
I have won the friendship game.
I have won the writing game.

How can you win at divorce? I won because we did it well, with respect and decency and concern for the children. How can you say you won the real estate game? A few articles ago, you said you lost your shirt this last year. I did, but I’ve done some great remodels and I’ve made much more than I’ve lost.
Play the game. Look at all the things you have ‘won’. Did you learn to speak, walk, and write? If so, you’ve won the speaking game, the walking game and the writing game. Have you ever loved anyone or anything? Then you’ve won the love game.
The idea is to take your winnings to heart and embrace them.
So, how are you a winner? What have you won?

Just in case you’re stuck on being a loser, here’s an interesting game for you to play.
Ask yourself, “How have I won the losing game? How have I won by losing?”

I’ve lost a lot of sorrow in my life.
I’ve lost some old habits.
I’ve lost some negative self-talk.
I’ve lost some emptiness.
I’ve lost some fear.
I’ve lost some ignorance.
I’ve lost some old stories.
I’ve lost some guilt.
I’ve lost some failures.
I’ve lost some limiting beliefs.

Now, please, play the winning and losing game for yourself, even if only in your head. If you do this seriously, you will be surprised at how well you’ve lived your life, how much you’ve gained by losing, and how much of a winner you really are already
Now, let’s really blow the doors off our little game and bring in the big guns. Here’s a little Rumi for some serious perspective on this whole winning and losing business.

For millions & millions of years I lived as a mineral.
Then I died and became a plant.

For millions & millions of years I lived as a plant.
Then I died and became an animal.

For millions & millions of years I lived as an animal.
Then I died and became a man.

Now what have I ever lost by dying?
- Rumi
Have fun and burn bright. And don’t be a pain in the neck.

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