TUNISIA, MARTIN LUTHER KING AND MAIN STREET

My heart goes out to the family and friends of Mohamed Bouazizi, the 26-year-old fruit vendor who set himself on fire in Tunisia, and set off a series of events that led to the collapse of the government.

Bouazizi’s desperate act has changed the course of history in Tunisia, hopefully for the better, but from a personal point of view, what a tragedy, to reach such a low point in your life that you see no other way to proceed, other than to set yourself on fire and burn yourself to death.

Bouazizi was college educated, but unemployed, except for selling fruit. Because he had no license, the police stopped Mohamed Bouazizi from doing business and took, or stole, his fruit.

That was enough to push Mohamed Bouazizi over the edge, and the rest is history.

I don’t know the details of his situation, but Bouazizi was college educated. Somehow he got enough money together to buy the fruit for his business. It doesn’t sound like he was homeless. There are probably many people in his hometown and throughout Tunisia and the region who were and are much worse off than Mohamed Bouazizi was, but it was Mohamed Bouazizi who broke that day, and did so in a way that could not be ignored, and his countrymen responded.

Here in the U.S. things are nowhere as difficult as they are in Tunisia. Or are they?

I don’t think the actions of the Tucson shooter are a good comparison to those of Mohamed Bouazizi. There is no evidence that Mohamed Bouazizi was mentally ill, nor did he hurt anyone other than himself. One was an act of desperation and, possibly, protest. The other was an act of an unhinged mind.

I think many millions of unemployed or underemployed Americans can imagine how Mohamed Bouazizi must have felt, the sense of frustration, of beating oneself against a wall, of being underutilized—Bouazizi was college-educated, remember—of being mistreated, the feeling of life passing you by.

Please, I am not suggesting that anyone in the United States, or anywhere else, do anything that remotely approximates the horribly painful act of Mohamed Bouazizi. All I’m saying is that we can understand his frustration, and that many of us have felt similar, though hopefully less extreme, emotional pain. Many of us have known moments, even if only fleeting, where we’ve thought to ourselves, “I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”

We human beings are, as is embodied in the Constitution of the United States of America, by our deepest nature, free beings seeking a full expression of life, liberty, and happiness. That’s who we are. We are like water seeking cracks and channels into which we might pour our energies, our capacities, our knowledge, and our expertise, and it can be unbearably painful when we have no effective outlet for expressing our gifts and contributing towards a decent life for ourselves, our families, and our country.

In contradistinction to Mohamad Bouazizi, we have the example of protestors like Nelson Mandela, and our own Martin Luther King, Jr., men of extraordinary ability who could have, in their time, felt thwarted at every turn, even to the point, in Mandela’s case, of being imprisoned for years. Yet they continued to fight day after day, but they fought, not by fighting, but by keeping the vision, and never giving up.

Mandela gave up 27 years of his life to a prison cell, though he does not seem to see it this way, but never gave up his dream. Martin Luther King, Jr. shot dead at age 39, terribly young, had half his life taken away from him, though he probably would not have seen it that way either, but never gave up his dream of a more just and equitable America.

In each of these three cases life offered difficult challenges.

No matter who we are, though our challenges may seem smaller, we have our challenges, nonetheless.

We may be unemployed. We may be ill. We may be frustrated. We may be old. We may be alone, or feel that way. We may be discriminated against.

We know the pain of life, because we’re human, and there’s no way to avoid it.

Someday pain finds us.

How do we deal with it?

Mohamed Bouazizi knew full well how discomforted he felt. And so he acted.

Nelson Mandela and Martin Luther King, Jr. acted too, but not like Bouazizi did. Their protest, their effective actions towards radical change did not require them to kill themselves, nor anyone else, though both were ready to die, if need be.

And as we all know, one did die, though his dream lived on.

We all can’t be a Mandela or a King, nor would most of us want to be a Bouazizi.

The difference, to my mind, is that I view Bouazizi as a man who had come to his end. His act was like that of a man who jumps out the window of a burning building.

He saw no other way out, no way forwards.

I may be wrong, but I don’t think Bouazizi thought his action would make a difference.

He was a man who had given up.

But it was Bouazizi’s pain and frustration, along with that of his countrymen, that inspired the people of Tunisia to move forwards.

Bouazizi was the catalyst, but it remains, as it always does, to the living to make the dream of a more equitable society, or any other dream, in Tunisia or elsewhere, a reality.

Life is in the living.

Some of us will not be able to bear the pain of living for one reason or another. Suicide has been with us for a long time, and will probably be with us always.

But for the rest of us, what do we do with the pain of our lives, no matter where it comes from, whether from inside us or from outside us? Pain, like love; anger, like hope; fear, like courage; sadness, like joy—both the positive and the ‘negative’ emotions—can be fuel for living and for transformation, rather than for collapse and withdrawal.

So, my heart goes out to Mohamed Bouazizi, and to his family and friends, and to all human beings who suffer, wherever they are, whether here in the U.S. or in Tunisia, Pakistan, Africa, or down the street.

           And my heart goes out to me, and to you, for though we may not be suffering today, like all human beings, we know suffering. We ask for the strength, the wisdom, the compassion, the insight and the guidance, from wherever it may come, to be able to take all that life offers us, the good and the bad, the joyous and the painful, and like Mandela and King, in our own way, live a life that makes things better for ourselves, our families, our country, and the world.                                  

            I can be reached at drjohnluca@gmail.com or 805/680-5572

HOW MANY FAILURES DOES IT TAKE TO BE A SUCCESS?

You may have read or heard some of these before, but like good green vegetables, you probably can’t get too many of them in your mental diet. I find them refreshing and encouraging, inspiring and amusing. They help me breathe a sigh of relief, and they lighten my load. They free me up when I start wanting to feel sorry for myself. They help put life in perspective. They help prevent whining.    

Henry Ford had five businesses that failed before he started a successful car business.

RH Macy had seven failed businesses before he opened Macy’s department store.

Soichiro Honda applied for a job as an engineer with Toyota, was rejected, and was unemployed for months before starting Honda Motor Company.

Akio Morita, founder of Sony, designed a rice cooker as his first product. It burned rice and was a total flop.

Colonel Sanders had his chicken recipe rejected hundreds of times before he opened Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor for lack of imagination.

Lucille Ball was considered very unpromising by her drama teachers and was advised to look for another line of work. Early in her career she was considered a B actress, at best.

Most of Emily Dickenson’s poems remained in her desk drawer during her lifetime. 

Helen Keller, well, you know about her.

John Lennon was dyslexic (dyslexia: has a hard time with words. Ha!).

Einstein was considered slow as a child.

He didn’t speak till he was four.

He couldn’t get a job at any university at the time he wrote four of the most important physics papers ever written by anyone, anywhere, at any time. 

Darwin’s father was very unimpressed with his young son’s intellectual abilities. (Way to go, dad!)

Isaac Newton failed at running the family farm before his uncle sent him to Cambridge.

In his day, Socrates was labeled an immoral corruptor of youth.

Edison failed at least a 1000, if not 10,000 times, designing a damned light bulb that would work.

The Wright Brothers suffered numerous failed attempts at making a plane that would fly, which only made their depression worse.

Mark Victor Hansen went bankrupt and wanted to kill himself before starting The Chicken Soup for the Soul series of books with Jack Canfield that sold over 100 million copies.

Lincoln suffered from depression and failed throughout his life, until he didn’t. 

Winston Churchill failed the sixth grade. He went walking the black dog, his code words for depression, quite often.  

Oprah Winfrey was fired from her job as a television reporter, since she was unfit for t.v.

Harry Truman went bankrupt before becoming president.

Jerry Seinfeld froze during his first performance and was booed off stage.

Fred Astaire: “Can’t act, can’t sing, can dance a little,” comments from his first audition.

Hollywood studios initially rejected Charlie Chaplin as too nonsensical.

After his first film, executives told Harrison Ford he didn’t have what it takes to be a star.

Van Gogh sold one painting in his lifetime, to a friend, for not much money.

Beethoven’s teachers thought he was hopeless.

A crowd ran the composer Igor Stravinsky out of town after his debut performance.

Mozart was dismissed from his position as a court musician.

Jack London’s first story was rejected over 500 times.

During his lifetime, Claude Monet was mocked as an artist.

Stephen King’s first novel, Carrie, was rejected 30 times, so he threw it in the trash.

Steven Spielberg was rejected by USC film school.

Charles Schultz was turned down for a job by Walt Disney. Schultz later created Peanuts.

27 Publishers turned down Dr. Seuss’s first book.

“The colossus of independence”, John Adams, second president of the United States, “who was learned beyond all but a few,” suffered from self-doubt.

 Elvis Presley was told to go back to truck driving.

Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.

And so on.

The lesson I walk away with from these examples is that most of us are not failing enough. We’re playing it safe. We’re picking up our toys and sulking off to our rooms before we’ve even given the game our best shot, and then our next, and our next, and our next until we break through to the place where we are gifting the world with what we have to offer.

            Another word for a failure is a mistake. A mistake is a mis-take, a shot that didn’t take, a shot that didn’t quite make it into the basket. So take a shot, and then another, and then another. Learn something each time, like Edison did, like Lucille Ball did. Miss as many shots as it takes until you start sinking them, because that’s what it takes, even if you’re Michael Jordan, Lucille Ball, or Abraham Lincoln.

            So go out there and fall on your face. Get it over with. Do it again and again.
            If you really want to live, you’ve got to fail. If you really want to learn how to shot, you’ve got to go out there and miss a few shots—or a few thousand shots.   
            There’s no other way.
            But there is a way.
            So get on the court and keep playing.
            And enjoy the game.

For coaching or SE sessions please contact me at 805/680-5572 or drjohnluca@gmail.com

JOHN LENNON REMEMBERED

If you were alive and old enough in December of 1980, you probably remember where you were when you heard the news.

“John Lennon was shot and killed tonight outside his home on the Upper West Side of New York City.” 

At least it was a madman who did it, killed John Lennon, of all people.

When I was eleven, a few years after my father’s death, I’m a Loser, the Beatles hit written by John Lennon, became one of my most cherished songs.

Alone in our apartment, I would sing along at the top of my lungs as tears trickled down my cheek, “I’m a loser. And I lost someone who’s near to me…”

           

John Lennon was born October 9^th, 1940 while a World War II bombing raid was in progress.

His mother couldn’t handle raising him. He was raised by his aunt Mimi.

He was expelled from school for misbehaving when he was five years old.

I’m a Loser, Nowhere Man, and Help are biographical songs based on John Lennon’s personal  experience.

He saw his father for the first time in 17 years in 1964.

“All art is pain expressing itself,” he once said.

He kept a light on while he slept because he didn’t like the dark.

Without glasses he was legally blind.

            Supposedly he was dyslexic.

“Part of me suspects that I am a loser, and the other part thinks I am God Almighty.”

He may have been a petty thief, enjoying a bit of shoplifting now and again, when he was a teenager.

             He ate very little after a reporter labeled him the ‘fat Beatle’.

He didn’t like his voice and often asked his producers to change how he sounded on recordings.

“My defenses were so great. The cocky rock and roll hero who knows all the answers was actually a terrified guy who didn't know how to cry. Simple.”

In 1970 John and Yoko checked into a hospital for wealthy addicts.

“Temperatures rising, fever is high, can’t see no future…can’t see no sky,” is a lyric from his song Cold Turkey.

             John Lennon signed his autograph for Mark Chapman six hours before Chapman shot and killed him on December 8^th, 1980 at around 10:50 p.m.

“If someone thinks that love and peace is a cliché that must have been left behind in the Sixties, that's his problem. Love and peace are eternal.”

John Lennon wrote Imagine, which is now the official song of the human rights organization Amnesty International.

Along with Paul McCartney, John Lennon is considered one of the most influential songwriters of the 20^th century.

             “I believe in God, but not as one thing, not as an old man in the sky. I believe that what people call God is something in all of us. I believe that what Jesus and Mohammed and Buddha and all the rest said was right. It's just that the translations have gone wrong.”

           The Beatles have sold an estimated 1,000,000,000 plus records worldwide. Sales continue to go strong. 

           “And we all shine on, like the moon, the stars, and the sun…”

           Remember John. Do what you have to do, though it’s not always easy. And shine on.

           Namaste.
           I can be reached for coaching at drjohnfluca@gmail.com or 805/680-5572. 

MICHAEL VICK SUCCESS LESSONS

If you’re a sports fan, or live above ground, you probably know the story of the NFL quarterback, Michael Vick, who was thrown out of the NFL a few years ago and sent to United States Penitentiary, Leavenworth for breeding, fighting, and ultimately killing dogs. I was not familiar with the details of Vick’s story until after last Monday night’s football game when Vick played what some consider to be the best game played by a quarterback in NFL history

When the Atlanta Falcons first signed him, Vick was the most highly paid player in the NFL. He was described as ‘electrifying.’ His ten-year contract was worth $130 million dollars.

The guy could throw, and the guy could run. I mean he could really throw, and he could really run. When you see footage of his running game, you feel sorry for the defensive team. Vick could outmaneuver half a dozen guys like the Roadrunner could outmaneuver Wiley Coyote, a pile of dynamite, a shotgun, and an avalanche. Vick made his opponents look like they were on drugs. With his wild life-style, and his showing-up-last and leaving-first attitude towards practice, you could imagine some people might have wished the cocky s.o.b. would be brought down.

But, like in a Shakespearean Tragedy, it was Vick who brought himself down.

Dog fighting, of all things. Beating dogs. Electrocuting dogs. Shooting dogs. Eight dogs were found buried on Vick’s farm in Virginia where he ran a dog-fighting operation. Some dogs had been hung. Some had been drowned after surviving being hung. It was bad.

His fans, his family, his team, and the league were shocked and outraged.

People said he was a psychopath, a freak, a sick savage.

“My whole life was a lie,” Vick would say later.

He was thrown out of the NFL. He lost his contract. He went bankrupt. He sat in Leavenworth prison for two years.

            But he came back. After spending two years in prison and losing everything he had, Michael Vick worked his way back into society. He became a spokesman for the Humane Society. He repeatedly accepted responsibility for what he had done, and said he was sorry. He was given a second chance. He was signed by the Philadelphia Eagles, and last Monday night Michael Vick quarterbacked a fifty-nine-point game that started with him throwing an 88-yard touchdown pass on the first play.

            “Whom do you blame for all this?” he was asked on Sixty Minutes after he got out of prison.

“I blame myself,” he said.

In prison, he said he felt shame, guilt, and he said he cried.

“You cried?” he was asked. “Yes,” Vick answered. “I cried. For what I did to those animals, for what I did to my family. I let them down…when I think about it…it sickens me to my stomach.”

When asked if it was losing his contract and being thrown out of the NFL that he was most sorry for, Vick responded, “I deserved to lose everything. I lied to everybody. I was a living example of what not to do.” 

In another interview, his former head coach, Jim Mora, asked him, “Did I miss something? Was there something I could have done?”

Vick shook his head and answered, “No. The best thing for me…crazy as it may seem, was getting shipped off to Kansas [to prison]. I wasn’t going to change. My mom tried…Nobody could have done anything to change my situation, except the Man upstairs, who was seeing it and said, “Listen, before this goes any further, I’m going to have to take all of this away from you for awhile. And you’re going to have to get your priorities in order, but you gonna have to sit over there [in prison] to get it done. And that’s what happened.”

On Monday night, November 14, 2010, Michael Vick played one of the best games in NFL history. I, for one, hope Vick is telling the truth, and that he really learned his lesson, and that he is truly sorry for the savagery he showed those dogs, and for his other crimes and mistakes.

Though he had seen his first dog-fight when he was eight years old, Vick said, “I was twenty-five, twenty-six years old at the time, a man, old enough to be responsible for my decisions.”

I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. I want to believe that his outer game is a reflection of his inner game, that the Michael Vick we saw on the field Monday night was proof of the man inside. I want to believe in second chances, and third chances.

We could sit here and debate what’s really going on inside Vick’s head. Is he really sorry? Does he get it? Has he changed?

As the saying goes, only God, and maybe Vick’s hairdresser, knows for sure.

I want to believe the guy, because that way I can learn from him.   

         

             You’re given amazing gifts in this life, no matter who you are. Do not take them for granted.

            Take responsibility. If you make a mistake, own it, but don’t kill yourself over it. Even if it takes you a few tries to get it right.

             Learn from your mistakes. Like Vick, you can make your biggest mistake the biggest learning experience of your life.

            Learn, don’t wank. “I deserved to have it all taken away from me.”

Get real. “My whole life was a lie.”

            Work with what you’ve got. A few years spent in the slammer is not the best way to become the best quarterback in the NFL, except in Vick’s case, it was. 

            When you’re knocked down, especially by your own actions, get up.

            Be honest. Be vulnerable. Go deep.

            Look for the bigger picture. Find the meaning and the lesson in what happened.

           And be grateful.

Vick looks like a new man. His game is better than ever. He’s got a family. He’s working hard. The leeches, who were supposed to be his friends, are gone, so are the wild parties. On Sixty Minutes, Vick said he ‘cried’. This is the same guy who a few years ago was getting his rocks off watching dogs killing each other. Vick chose to see what had happened to him as being much bigger and much more important than the $130 million dollars he lost and the two years he spent in jail. He chose to learn and find meaning from what happened.

Time will tell if this is the real Michael Vick. I hope so, because I want to keep watching the guy. I want to keep learning from him. Damn, if Michael Vick keeps it together he may even turn me into a football fan.

           

I can be reached for personal coaching, etc. at drjohnluca@gmail.com.

ONE MORE TIME: WHAT WE CAN LEARN FROM THE SAVED CHILEAN MINERS

It’s been weeks since the last Chilean miner was rescued. Numerous articles and programs have covered the 69-day ordeal, but before this remarkable journey fades into the past, it might be worthwhile to take one more look at the lessons we can learn from this rescue mission.

            The facts: buried 2300 feet underground, 90 degrees Fahrenheit, 80% humidity, 69 days, 17 days before anyone knew they were alive, 17 days on 2 days worth of food, 2 spoonfuls every 2 days for 17 days.

Makes one think of the story of Jesus feeding the masses with a few loaves and fishes. Goes to show you what you can do with cooperation, faith, discipline and a shared vision of the common good. No violence, no madness, no cannibalism, no mutiny, just an inspiring testament to what we can do when we are at our best.

            Some lessons for us to consider:

1. DO NOT LET WHAT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE STOP YOU. A mining rescue of this magnitude had never been attempted before.

2. GET HELP. They asked for help and got it. They went to NASA, for example, for help with building the rescue pod Phoenix.

3. TAKE ACTION. DON’T LET WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW STOP YOU. There were three boring operations going on simultaneously since no one knew which if any would be successful. The drilling teams came from America, Canada, and Chile. Get real. Get the best. Try different methods. A team from a small outfit in Pennsylvania got there first.

4. KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BIG PRIZE.

They left politics, ego, and national silliness out of it. It wasn’t about the mining company. It wasn’t about Chile. It wasn’t about the president of Chile. It was about saving the miners.

5. COLLABORATE AND EMPOWER. It was acknowledged that expertise was distributed so they distributed power to get the job done. Mining experts. Psychologists. Medical specialists. NASA. And most importantly, the miners themselves. 

6. HUMOR IS A LIFESAVER. Who will ever forget that first miner coming out of a hole in the ground after 69 days and handing out ‘souvenir’ rocks?

7. FAITH HELPS. Faith in yourself, in your team, in the people working to rescue you, and in your God. The miners were helped by their spiritual leaders, the shrines they set up, and the 34^th Miner, the higher power that many of the miners said kept them going.

8. WE CAN BE OUR BEST UNDER EXTREME CONDITIONS. Though fear can be overpowering, and can cause nightmares, as it did in a least one trapped miner, help, support, and courage can win the day.

9. YOU NEED A PURPOSE. Each miner had a job to fulfill. He had a purpose, a role, a function, and he had a meaning.  You had the tour guide, Dr, House, the chief, the writer, the spiritual guide and his assistant, the delivery man who handled incoming and outgoing packages, the gas man who monitored gas levels in the mine, and so on.

10. ROUTINE IS GOOD. They set up lights with timers and areas of light and dark so they could stick with a ‘normal’ routine. Each miner worked an eight-hour shift, with three shifts per day.

11. FOCUS ON THE PRESENT MOMENT. The miners kept focused on the tasks at hand, never forgetting the bigger picture, so as not to be overwhelmed by what might or might not happen in the future.

12. KEEP A HOPEFUL VISION. The miners all worked to keep alive their vision of their lives after they were rescued and would be returned to their families. They shaved. They bathed. They did their jobs. They wrote. They took videos. Esteban decided to renew his wedding vows. Claudio decided to get married. Ariel watched the birth of his child via video.

13. LEADERSHIP IS CRUCIAL. Leadership saved the day. Without leadership, the miners might never have survived the first 17 days with so little food.

14.  EMOTIONS ARE IMPORTANT. The miners talked. They shared. They laughed. They played. They told stories.

15. TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE. The miners were not passive receivers waiting to be saved. They each played their part. They saved themselves by working together to live through the first 17 days on so little food. And they each worked every day after that, each contributing in their own way. Mario had a crucifix and statuettes sent down.

Edison led Elvis sing-a-longs. The doctor made regular rounds.

16. KEEP IT MEANINGFUL AND LEARN. One miner said, “I buried 40 years of my life, down there.” He said he saw God and the Devil, but he never doubted that God would win. Now it was time for him to make some changes in his life.

       You're not trapped underground, but you may be trapped, nonetheless. What do you need to escape from? What might your amazing rescue mission look like? Learn from these miners and consider doing the impossible. They did.

MAY YOU SAY YES

           

Religion drives me crazy. I rarely go to Mass or attend religious services. I usually have my heart broken a bit whenever I do. I’m a sucker for lines like, “Come and sit at my table where saints and sinners are friends. O, come, and eat without money.”

The one that really gets me is, “Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.”

If only we could live what we preach.

But I haven’t given up. And I don’t think most of us have. We still have faith that one day we’ll be better. I know the people at St. Anthony’s believe that. That’s why they laid on their hands, gave their blessing, and said, “Yes!”

 The average member of St. Anthony’s must be pushing seventy. They’re an interesting bunch, including former nuns, former priests, and former priests married to former nuns.

If it’s sounds racy, it’s not. These are committed, loving, long-lasting, exemplary bondings in the name of holy matrimony. They just happen to be between former priests and former nuns who found love for another human being to be a sacred calling to which they had to respond, and they responded, “Yes”, rather than, “No”. 

 After 15 years Father Leo, now frail and aging, left St. Anthony's Catholic Church, and no priest was coming to take his place.

“Take care of this community,” Father Leo admonished the former priests. He gave them his blessing and left.

So, on a hot September Sunday, the members of St. Anthony’s and guests, like Lisa and I, walked to the front of the church where three men sat. One-by-one we laid our hands on their heads and gave them our blessings, and said, “Yes”, without the official sanction of the Bishop or any authority other than ourselves.

We said, “Yes”, to community, “Yes”, to faith, “Yes”, to possibility. “Yes”, to life.

How about you?

Where have you been withholding your blessing? Where is it time you laid your hands, and, as the poet Rumi suggests, said, “Yes”, quickly, as if you have known it since before the universe began?